How to Communicate with Autistic Adults? This is the ultimate guide.

The idea that autistic people have poor communication skills is almost a cliché in neurodiversity circles. Sure, some autistic folks are bad communicators; that’s true among non-autistic people too. What’s behind that idea that autistics have poor communication skills? It’s that non-autistic people don’t know how to communicate with autistic adults.

I’ve talked a lot in the past about the difference in communication styles between autistics and neurotypical people. We autistics are trained from birth in neurotypical communication styles just by living in a neurotypical world; going to school, working a job, or just going to the grocery store require a working knowledge of neurotypical norms. Masking itself is a way of coping with neurotypical communication styles.

Learning to communicate should go in both directions. Neurotypical folks should learn how to communicate with autistic adults, especially those who live or work directly with us, rather than expecting the burden of communication to fall on neurodivergent parties.

Although communication styles are highly personalized and affected by culture and language, there are some basic tendencies in autistic communication that apply across the spectrum. For example, autistic folks tend to prefer direct speech, and some of us can get confused (or have to work harder to process) certain forms of slang. The best guide I’ve found for neurotypicals wanting to learn neurodivergent communication norms…